i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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