dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
