My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
