We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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