she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
