Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
