ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
