PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
