I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
