i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
