What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
