i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
