do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
