We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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