i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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