i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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