i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
