he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The air taste purple.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
