He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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