The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
