I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize