I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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