that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
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