i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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