Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
