Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
