Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
