Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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