Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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