I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
