this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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