I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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