i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
