After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
