allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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