we made out on top of his cat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
