I bet he comes in French.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
