Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
