I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
