its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
