Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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