yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
