I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize