So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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