Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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