Kiss
Puke
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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