What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
