In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
