Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
