it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Drunk is not a location!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
