So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
