Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
