Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They took my balls.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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