i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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