My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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