There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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